Gains in Losses

Making Space for Change

We want certain things to change in our lives, but we fear changes that we do not want. Sometimes we fear changes that we do want, because the familiar is more comfortable than the visionary is, and because life is a three-dimensional, interconnected puzzle; if you change on thing, everything else shifts, too, often in unpredictable ways. We may stay in a relationship or a work situation that is not exactly right for us out of fear of losing what we like about it. Yet, if we do hold on, we will never create space for what we truly want to enter. There is an inescapable connection between getting what we want and losing what we have, and this fact can keep us in a holding pattern.

It helps to remember that, regardless of our conscious intent, life is by its nature a series of gains and losses. Change is the rule. For example, as we grow older, we lose our yourth, but we gain experience and wisdom. When we enter into a relationship, we lose a certain degree of freedom, but we gain intimacy and connection. If we focus too much, on what we are losing, and fail to celebrate the growth and opportunity that change brings, we run the risk of missing our lives as they are happening. Balance entails a bittersweet combination of honoring and releasing the old and welcoming the new with open hands.

Once we acknowledge that getting what we want means letting go of certain things we attached to, we can move forward more consciously. Allow yourself the time and space to honor your life as it is before you initiate changes. When you decide to let someone or something go, or vice versa, consciously recognize the passing. Facing the losses in our lives head-on, allowing ourselves to feel the difficult emotions loss inspires, ultimately empowers us and frees us to fully embrace the new.

The more we practice accepting loss, letting go, and releasing, the better we will get. In addition, the more we align ourselves with the natural energies of change, the more we can consciously harness that energy to work magjic in our lives.

It Begins With You

Learning To Love Yourself

We have all heared it countless times before, "To experience true love, we first must love ourselves," or some variation of such. However, it is stated, the importance of self-love is vital to becoming a healthy, whole, human being. We are all children of the universe, created out of love. We accept and love other people, animals, nature, all that comes from the same source as we do. We too then, are worthy of our own love. To honor oneself with love and acceptance is to honor the universe that created us.

Self-love is about fully embracing oneself, realizing one's strenghts and accepting one's flaws. Self-love is not about being self-centered or self-absorbed, which is based on insecurity and not knowing oneself. True self-love is a guarantee that we will not succumb to such selfish pursuits. For if, we truly love ourselves we know that we do not need to be the best looking, most talented, or have the most possessions. When we love ourselves, we are able to give love freely to others without fear of being hurt or used. We love ourselves enough to not allow others to take advantage of us. In addition, when we secure in our love of self, we attract the love of others.

To learn to love yourself, treat yourself the way you treat those you love. Be kind to yourself, giving yourself all that you need to be happy and healthy. Show yourself a good time by doing things you like. Eat well and take care of your body. Say nice things to yourself. Compliment and praise yourself, just as you would a friend, family member, or lover. Encourage yourself when you are feeling down.

In addition, most importantly, say the words that we all long to hear. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I Love you." This can be difficult, but it is a powerful tool in acceptance and self-love. It may not be easy, you may feel foolish at first, but you can do it. Even if you do not feel it right away, keep doing it. Love yourself first and you will be able to truly love others and to be turly loved in return.