Resisting Control

Imposing Your Will on Others

The right to make your own chices is a precious one. We grow when we have he freedom to decide our own paths and dtermine wha makes us happy. Yet there are those who are inclined to try to control others. They may be driven by insecurity, envy, fear, or the need for power. these people are deeply critical of themselves in their own minds, and underlying that criical nature is unhappiness. Their need to feel sure-footed and secure in quenched by controlling those around them, whether they are friends, colleagues, or even pets. However, nealy everyong has found himself or herself imposing their will upon others at one time or another.

Trying to impose your will on others can be tempting for many reasons. You may feel that your way is the best way or that you have a keener insight into the direction their life should be taking. However, in imposing your will, you are indireclty saying, " I want to control you." Even when you have the best of intentions, others may end up resenting you for your actions. it is always helpful to remember that it is possible to influence people and change their behavior throught edcation or example without impossing your will on them.

If you have caough yourself being a bit bossy on a regular basis, make a note of it. Write down what the situation was and why you acted the way, you did. You may have pused a friend to try something new, because deep inside you wanted to try it yourself but were feeling hesiant. Alternativley, you may be unjustly interfering with work teammates, because you are not sure of their abilities. Next, make an effort to understand and accept their preferences and ways of doing things. It can feel natural to impose your will when you feel that you "konw best." However, there is a freedom to trusting others to find their own methods and joys, even when they might differ from yours. Sometimes the best course of action is step back and relinquish control. You may, in doing so, see everything from a different point of view.